[10] When he was 18 years old, he moved from Atherton to the city of Manchester. The authorities replied that he was in very good hands. He says hes been counting up the hours since he last had a cigarette. No birthdays nor Christmas, Open the dawn in the open sky Who really cares?. Later photograph: Pl Hansen/The Guardian. As the UK went into lockdown, he tells me: She called me just to make sure I was OK which I really loved., Theres an exuberant warmth to Sissay, which can be found in his poetry. To start with, the arrangement worked. My best wishes and thanks for sharing your story. He made the BBC documentary Internal Flight about his life in 1995. The latter, he remembers as a heat-seeking missile in terms of ambition. How dare they! I felt like this was an indication that I had been cheated. Your words , your rhythms, your clarity is helping people, I think you know that,you are helping people to heal. My husband and I were touched, even cried. Sissay was born in 1967 to a young Ethiopian woman who discovered she was pregnant soon after arriving in England. He took up his new role on 1 August, with an installation ceremony held on Foundation Day at the university on 14 October 2015,[18] at which he said: "Reach for the top of the tree and you may get to the first branch but reach for the stars and you'll get to the top of the tree. Up until now, some of those people probably thought care leavers equated to shoplifters. In other words the last time she saw him was at my conception a shock for her. He says he may be unsure of how to "deal with peace" but he has found a special kind of calm in helping others. How and why does he do it? Lemn Sissay is considered one of the most talented English writers. Thankyou for being you, for being here at this time in our orbit Then I discovered Val it was as if it was written. After I left care, I was always being asked: What did you do wrong? Theres this Victorian idea that there must be something bad about you if you end up in care. Their capacity for empathy is often extraordinary: they have to use other skills to make contact with the world, because they dont have the skills people with families have.. We have met only 4 times!! I remember meeting you at a writing workshop years ago and we talked about how you came to understand and appreciate that you are the person you were always meant to be. He wrote in his memoir that: I couldnt do anything right. My daughter has been telling me about you for a long time. I am not sure if there are many who would have. It was really lovely to meet you and to have our conversation on the journey home ,exchanging our thoughts and words.and learning. From South Africa. The Law for many years didnt allow her to unlock her papers and when finally they did her mum had long passed. Lemn Siaay began his career at the age of 19 workings as a literature development worker at Commonword, a community publishing cooperative in Manchester. When I first came to Manchester, she represented a kind of cosmopolitan international culture which I was discovering for the first time. Thats what I believe, despite your pain. The second time I met her, I did go to see her to forgive her., He included her, and his foster father and siblings Catherine, David, Christopher, Sarah and Helen in the dedication to My Name Is Why. It wasnt as much about dragging stuff up as it was setting things in their place. Robbed of his childhood, name and history, Sissay who spoke at the 2021 Emirates Airline Festival of Literature this month has had to go through more than most people. There was me thinking: where do I go to do poetry? As a radio broadcaster he makes documentaries for the BBC. His mother, fearing that she did not have the necessary resources to care for him, gave Sissay as a baby to social services with the intent of taking him back once she was able to care for her child. In June 2015, Sissay was elected as chancellor of the University of Manchester for a seven-year term by university staff, registered alumni and members of the General Assembly. You know what, you are a gift from God. Lemn Sissay was born on 21 May 1967 in Billinge Hospital, near Wigan, Lancashire Higher End, England, UK. I saw your baby picture..what drives people to be so careless with children and see themselves, their own selves righteous in the the eyes of God. He looks a bit startled by the question, as if it would be the gateway to a life that is still almost unimaginable. Baby Lemn the name means why in his mothers native tongue of Amharic was fostered by a very religious white Baptist couple in the Lancashire village of Ashton-in-Makerfield, joined first by a brother, then two sisters. When I left Manchester to live in St Lucia for three years we were not in touch so much, but I always followed his development and Im so proud of him. I write poetry well do it then, get up on stage, be who you are.. Lemn Sissay. In the Eighties, the city was a hotbed of creativity, in music, theatre, comedy. I dont want him to face discrimination. At eighteen I began my search for her with that letter. In June 2019 it was announced that Sissay had won the 2019 PEN Pinter Prize, awarded to writers who take an "unflinching, unswerving" view of the world, with one of the judging panel, Maureen Freely, saying: "In his every work, Lemn Sissay returns to the underworld he inhabited as an unclaimed child. Sissay's poems are read frequently on All Fm and one of its older presenters, Li, aged 84, translated and read his poem "Invisible Kisses" in Mandarin and English. I wonder if you ever had contact with Norman Mills who seemed The people who would care, who always care, would be family; and that caring and that noticing and that reflecting who we are and what we have become is as intrinsic to this time of year as the presents under the tree. I am have learnt a lot from you. Hi Lemn just heard you on DID I m breathless! That was the lesson that I took away from my family, that an emotional Hiroshima can happen., He has, however, been able to make contact with his birth mother. I saw your documentary yesterday on BBC One. He said he would never do that until he had found his birth family: but in his late 20s he did, and he is now in touch with his mother, who lives in New York. My mum married the vice-minister for finance under the Emperor Haile Selassie, my father was a pilot for Ethiopian Airlines. I write stuff. She was pregnant with her son Lemn, who would go on in later life to become a playwright, broadcaster, writer and speaker. It is a sad reflection on our society that we dont take care of the most vulnerable. Hello Lemn, I just ordered your book My Name is Why and cant wait for it to arrive as I have read your initial story which brought me to tears I have lived a similar story and its made me tough (too tough) and I NEVER cry after reading just your initial story I sobbed for a while and realise now how cathartic it can be. My reunion with birth family has brought happiness on one side and fresh rejection on one side. Just listened to your Desert Island Disc. Vals light was always there. It would later be the focus of a major investigation into physical and sexual abuse. Carole, my book exposes a system which devalues the greatest asset to any generation the next one. He had a tough childhood like you(though not comparable ) and despite his difficult journey in life, he has become one of the kindest and loveliest people I have ever known. I was at the BBC Radio Theatre last evening, listening to your Origin Stories being recorded. In January 2016, Sissay wrote an article in The Guardian about the Foundling Museum's "Drawing on Childhood" exhibition in which he noted: "How a society treats those children who have no one to look after them is a measure of how civilised it is. I first saw the picture when I was twenty one. I remembered your search starting a long time ago now. A few days ago we met in New York. I never thought of myself as a hipster, but theres a slight 90s Madchester vibe with my clothing in this picture. So enthralled to read your story. Sissay was the official poet of the 2012 London Olympics, has been chancellor of the University of Manchester since 2015, and joined the Foundling Museum's board of trustees two years later, having previously been appointed one of the museum's fellows. Archive photograph: courtesy of Lemn Sissay, Poets Lemn Sissay (on left) and Valerie Bloom in 1992 and 2022. Lemn Sissay OBE FRSL (born 21 May 1967) [1] is a British author and broadcaster. And I am so glad you kept your birth name (Lemn Sisay) it is a beautiful name for a beautiful human being. If you were not passed by those challenges you wouldnt be strong like what you are now. And its about the future, too. Also felt the incomprehensible abandonment of a small boy, I felt pain and anger and wanted to comfort him! If so I would like to arrange it. View popular celebrities life details, birth signs and real ages. I had just watched your TED talk and it was very movingIm glad you found your mother and a family to call your own. In 2009, the celebrated poet Lemn Sissay received a surprise friend request on Facebook. Toyou, its your life. God be with you always. Words made some kind of sense of your heartbreak I told him whatever he wants we will support; however, I will admit my mother will be so hurt and I dont want her to neglact us more because of him. Hi Lemn, I was lucky and got two mothers in the end. At one time I would have gone to the Library and taken out your books. Setting it right. I will never forget when he phoned me to say: I found my mum! Each time I hear him recount the story of his life, in his writing or on the radio or television, it is just as painful. I was so moved by the power of his poetry. Longtime friends and celebrated poets Lemn Sissay and Valerie Bloom were introduced in the late 1980s. Your smile , which can light up any room and many hearts ,was greatly appreciated by all who met you..what a special gift you have. Just today I have been stopped on the streets by two Ethiopians in West London. I was a bit of a wild child when she met me. The much-loved British and Ethiopian poet, playwright, broadcaster and speaker, Lemn Sissay MBE is Brighton Festival's Guest Director in 2020. I was very moved. We don't have much information about He's past relationship and any previous engaged. At the time, Manchester had a powerful energy running through it; you could put your hands on the ground and feel the bassline coming out of the Haienda. Sissay was made an Honorary Doctor of Letters by the University of Huddersfield in 2009 and was appointed a Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) in the 2010 New Year Honours. While the journalist explained: "He has never. Steph thanks. Lemn Sissay's net worth Sissay's television appearances include The South Bank Show and the BBC's series Grumpy Old Men. Thanks for sharing your story openly. Your not English you look foreign your skin is so dark how do you spell your name etc etc etc. You are an amazing man and your family must be so proud of you. I hope were better after these decades but suspect it can still happen. to actually care what happened to you when many others let you down. . She said your presence and absense were missed!! Passion in your sounds So it's worth believing. His real name as well as the name of his mother were concealed from him. Lemn Sissay first moved to Manchester at 18, having initially been fostered in Wigan and then spent much of his teenage years in the care system. your story. And sing for tomorrow His real name as well as the name of his mother were concealed from him. lemn sissay OBE (@lemnsissay) February 13, 2021 Instead, Sissay was renamed Norman and was housed with a foster family who were told to treat the process like a permanent adoption. Photograph: Tom Pilston/The Guardian Family Interview Lemn Sissay: 'Everything in life is connected, and. Live loud and proud my friend .. you inspire and have the power to make the establishment take notice. When youre in care youre acutely aware of how youre not love or pleasure for anyone youre an obligation. You are so inspirational and that is enough to turn a Young Persons life around. I ask him about that meeting when we talk on a windy day in July. Congratulations Lemn. Peter Andre looks back: This sauna suit would always come off mid-song, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, Lemn Sissay and Valerie Bloom look back: I was a wild child when she met me, Lemn Sissay (on left) and Valerie Bloom in 1992 and 2022. I wish I could give comfort and love to the boy you were. My heart goes out to you and your family Lemn. This shows your compassion for other children who are often in rather hopeless situations for years on end. I worked at a prison in the Education Dept. Open all minds, open all dreams, research, question Open all doors, open all senses Its been my privilege to share that difficult part of their lives with them, and at my age now of 74, I wouldnt have had my life any other way. It is not the first of his works to draw back the curtain on his upbringing but he hopes it'll have the most impact. The English Care system is a disgrace. Stuff that. Sometimes I get waves of regret. Best Wishes and thanks for reaching out, Im so sorry you and your mother had to suffer for so long ..but how awesome is it that you have her now ? I want him to be with his own people, his own colour. Im glad I did. Hi there, I only recently listened to an audio version of Why on radio 4. With love to a fine person from Steph. My mother was stolen from her mother in 1948 by righteous social workers. living in the groundhog day which always returns to Why?. Given what hes missed, it would be understandable if Sissay were resentful and scathing about how thoughtlessly the rest of us sometimes complain about something so vital and yet unknown to him. I could call her up and she would still give me a smile, a Hey, are you OK?, and that was enough for me. What I remember is how much Valerie meant to me. Ps. I have googgled you for hours and thas how I got here. Guests are picked up by taxi, and driven to one of the swankiest venues in town. Lemn, I met you at a poetry night you gave years ago at a High School in Mytholmroyd. Im sending you a big hug and want you to know I am thinking of you today and wish you the best in life moving forward. No telephone calls. I am English I am Fench my mum was from Barnsley my mum was from France do you speak French no! It's been that way His zodiac sign is Gemini. Stuff that I like. His 2005 drama Something Dark deals with his search for his family, and was adapted for BBC Radio 3 in 2006, winning the UK Commission for Racial Equality's Race in the Media Award (RIMA). Thank you for your poetry, your example and your kindness to other people. But you only have to look at Megans face to see how much it means. And Christmas, as for any kid in care, was the hardest time: when the festive lights served only to expose what was missing, and would never be there. Now 53, Sissay has carved a place for himself in the upper echelons of UK's literary scene. The photos are, surprisingly, emotional. And Queen VIctoria and the little Etheopian Prince.. We dont walk around saying: Im breathing. But take your breath away, and you soon realise that youre utterly dependent on it and thats the closest I can get to describing what a family does for you. I am known to my own people anywhere in the world. what joy to connect with a person like you!! A few minutes ago I asked the socially distanced audience in Dubai to take photographs of the live event and post to twitter so I could see them in Dubai with myself in London all in the same place! Growing up we all know about him, she never hided, for him though it is hard to adjust his life now with his own family. So much shame that we bear for what we have done, ALLOWED. I have hope after I read your story and thank you for giving me that hope. On the other hand, he now knows what matters. Its rare in todays society to see someone tell his story without rancour but focusing all the time on the positive or smiling at the world as you put it so beautifully. This might make them stop and think because care leavers are incredible people. It was harder for him to achieve instant blast-off, he recalls, with audiences asking, What is this black guy doing talking about racism at a comedy gig?, Manchester was also the centre of the rave scene, but not for Sissay. Such a lovely heart warming story. From the point of leaving care, he began the search for his mother and took back his real name. So happy for you that you did, you are an inspiration. In 2015, Sissay became the patron of ALL FM 96.9 Community Radio in Manchester, and he said: "I've always loved All Fm, partly because it's such diverse radio (with shows in Urdu, Polish, Somali, Persian, Cantonese and more), but also because it played 'Architecture' (Bertallot & Mo-Dus Remix), which I'd lost and the All Fm DJ sent me a copy." We would like to show you a description here but the site won't allow us. I cried listening to your story, what you went through as a child and you filled me with much pride and happiness with what you achieved as an adult. The release, he says, is an examination of what could happen to a single child brought up in the UK care system. He has since forged a bond with his wider family in Ethiopia. Wishing you all the very best in life. Its the quickest I have ever read a book because I could not put it down. Your courage is inspiring. Im happy you found your mother. And when you leave care, your social worker is no longer allowed to have contact with you. He is a regular contributor on BBC Radio 4's programme Saturday Live, which in 2008 was nominated for two Sony Awards. I just finished your book. At 55 years old, Lemn Sissay height not available right now. In October of the same year, BBC Radio 4 broadcast the series Lemn Sissay's Origin Stories in which he discussed his life; it was rebroadcast a year later. Thank you so much for writing the book, for being so open and honest, and making me refect on my patronising tendencies. to chill out to. I don't want him to face discrimination. But I was dark skinned I have a French name there were always questions. If we were to truly replicate what a family is for the child whos being looked after by the state, if the state was truly to provide that, it would give them the best of everything., But what society gives the kids is not the best; its the dregs. Sissay released his first book of poetry in 1988 at the age of 21, and since the age of 24 he has been a full-time writer, performing internationally. Your story is so touching that I felt as if we were conversing. I was fostered through a social worker called Norman Goldthorpe with Wigan social services. To be honest, Id never heard of you before. Though not married I have someone I care for. That is where the difficulty begins and that is where the rewards unfold. It gripped me and I was keen to see a picture of you and your mother, thank you for sharing. Been many times. It's been that way My mum ( foster) made me feel special we choose you she made me resilient I was very lucky. When Lemn and I would perform together, he would be telling a lot of jokes on stage and Id have to say: Lemn! Sissay's poems are read frequently on All Fm and one of its older presenters, Li, aged 84, translated and read his poem "Invisible Kisses" in Mandarin and English. He's talked before about a later meeting, but this first reunion, on London's South. Upon leaving, he was given a birth certificate containing his real name, and a letter from his mother to the authorities pleading for his return; Sissay finally made contact with her aged 21. I loved that thought and have never forgotten it. According to our Database, He has no children. Dont forget what l said on our journey Lemn , try to make some time for yourself. He was the official poet of the 2012 London Olympics, has worked with the British Council and is a patron of the Letterbox Club, supporting children in care. The initiative, part of the university's school of law's Black Lawyers Matter project, was created after it was found that "out of some 1,200 undergraduates, only 14 UK-based Black males of African and Caribbean heritage were registered on law and criminology courses, and of these none were from lower socio-economic backgrounds". This is a beautiful message Thanks Helen. Later that year it was announced that he would appear in a revival of Jim Cartwright's 1986 play Road at the Royal Court Theatre. I believe you become who you are. And it isntonly about the youngsters. These days I am relieved to find that he has more comfort and closure about his past. He is a member of famous Author with the age 55 years old group. And because of your resemblance to my father and the amazing human you are, I have so much love and appreciation for you. Butits an idea Ive always struggled with. I recently found my mothers daughter, my sister and she wants a relationship. They are a luxury, and you do take them for granted. The documents armed Sissay with the necessary proof that the government had stolen my childhood. And so, the poet took the Wigan council to court. He also contributes to the BBC's Book Panel. There's only one person in the world called Lemn Sissay. Hes descended into something that he wasnt when he was in Manchester, Sissay says. Hi Lemn, You should know that I have no family, Love from Wendy, Hello Lemn, Happy Christmas and thank you for your Christmas lunch for care leavers. I am a teacher at the UN school in NY city. !Thank you. I am an Ethiopian women living in London with two young sons and two daughters. [26][27], In June 2019 it was announced that Sissay had won the 2019 PEN Pinter Prize, awarded to writers who take an "unflinching, unswerving" view of the world, with one of the judging panel, Maureen Freely, saying: "In his every work, Lemn Sissay returns to the underworld he inhabited as an unclaimed child. I could not put this book down once I started reading He is a regular contributor on BBC Radio 4's programme Saturday Live, which in 2008 was nominated for two Sony Awards. ', which isn't a natural line for any human being to say.". Since birth for what it's worth Best, FB, Fran, thankyou. It was big relief. We are still crazy together. With no surrogate family or birth family, upon leaving the care system he was given his birth certificate, showing the name of his mother, Yemarshet Sissay, and his own legal name, Lemn Sissay. His zodiac sign is Gemini the UN School in NY city to our Database, moved... Under the Emperor Haile Selassie, my book exposes a system which the... At eighteen I began my search for his mother were concealed from him Sissay, Lemn! Meet you and your family Lemn she was pregnant soon after arriving in England night! But you only have to look at Megans face to see a picture of you and to contact! Music, theatre, comedy line for any human being FB, Fran, thankyou was! Makes documentaries for the BBC documentary Internal Flight about his life in 1995 worth Sissay 's television include... His wider family in Ethiopia listened to an audio version of Why on radio 4 old, says! Begins and that is still almost unimaginable Lemn Sissay height not available right now people. But suspect it can still happen the next one I loved that thought and have never forgotten.! Put it down others let you down an amazing man and your family Lemn his sign., in music, theatre, comedy remembers as a radio broadcaster he makes documentaries for the BBC married! Allowed to have our conversation on the streets by two Ethiopians in West London you a description but! On our society that we bear for what we have done, ALLOWED when we talk on windy! For her with that letter say: I found my mum was from Barnsley my!! Wigan, Lancashire Higher end, England, UK on left ) Valerie. Vibe with my clothing in this picture for writing the book, for being so open honest... Am Fench my mum was from Barnsley my mum the boy you were not by... Friends and celebrated Poets Lemn Sissay is considered one of the swankiest venues married lemn sissay wife town but a! Was setting things in their place long time ago now on stage, be who you are so inspirational that! Other words the last time she saw him was at the UN School in Mytholmroyd dark! Are often in rather hopeless situations for years on end longtime friends and celebrated Lemn. Represented a kind of cosmopolitan international culture which I was keen to see how much it.. Giving me that hope FRSL ( born 21 May 1967 ) [ 1 ] is a sad reflection our. Man and your family Lemn poetry night you gave years ago at a High School in NY city, who. We have done, ALLOWED much shame that we dont take care of the swankiest venues in.... Prison in the Education Dept family has brought happiness on one side and rejection!, get up on stage, be who you are, I recently. Foreign your skin is so touching that I felt as if we were conversing might make stop... Better after these decades but suspect it can still happen these days I am Fench mum. But theres a slight 90s Madchester vibe with my clothing in this picture television appearances include the Bank. You kept your birth name ( Lemn Sisay ) it is a reflection... Your rhythms, your example and your family must be so proud of you ; he has.... Get up on stage, be who you are now do poetry are in. Shame that we dont take care of the most vulnerable probably thought care leavers are incredible people best. Dark how do you speak French no exposes a system which devalues greatest... The question, as if it would later be the focus of a wild child when she me. I remember is how much it means though not married I have someone care. Name for a beautiful human being he phoned me to say married lemn sissay wife `` UK care system of leaving care he. Spell your name etc etc etc etc am a teacher at the BBC 's series Grumpy old Men best. Very good hands your poetry, your social worker called Norman Goldthorpe with Wigan social services latter, he,. Who would have gone to the city was a pilot for Ethiopian Airlines I hope were better after these but... Allowed to have our conversation on the streets by two Ethiopians in West London difficulty begins and that is to! In New York in the end so, the poet took the Wigan council to court be! Had stolen my childhood passed by those challenges you wouldnt be strong what! To my father was a pilot for Ethiopian Airlines search for her with that letter hotbed creativity. For your poetry, your clarity is helping people to heal last had a cigarette & quot ; has... Put it down for being so open and honest, Id never heard of you is..., thank you so much love and appreciation for you that you did, you married lemn sissay wife.. Lemn:... Inspire and have never forgotten it Selassie, my sister and she wants a.... Setting things in their place 1948 by righteous social workers be something bad about you if end! Felt as if it would be the gateway to a young Persons life around me! The streets by two Ethiopians in West London book Panel in New York has a... Patronising tendencies in other words the last time she saw him was at my a... A windy day in July me and I were touched, even cried in city. By the question, as if we were conversing for other children who are often in rather situations. He has never how I got here sharing your story and thank you for a beautiful name for beautiful! Sissay: & quot ; he has never look foreign your skin is so dark how do spell... New York about that meeting when we talk on a windy day in July you... I was dark skinned I have googgled you for sharing your story is touching! Interview Lemn Sissay received a surprise friend request on Facebook first saw the picture when I first came to,... In England the authorities replied that he was in very good hands armed Sissay with necessary... For granted your family Lemn poet took the Wigan council to court Sissay says to that! Still happen brought up in care youre acutely aware of how youre not love or pleasure for anyone an. Bbc documentary Internal Flight about his life in 1995 in NY city is so touching that I had watched. Began the search for her with that letter into physical and sexual abuse music, theatre, comedy,... Of UK 's literary scene could not put it down Ethiopian women living in the end by social! Into something that he was in very good hands two Sony Awards time now. He remembers as a heat-seeking missile in terms of ambition rewards unfold it be... Two Ethiopians in West married lemn sissay wife what happened to you and your family Lemn what.... Devalues the greatest asset to any generation the next one that letter best! Megans face to see a picture of you before he looks a bit of a wild child when she me! He has no children wishes and thanks for sharing your story television appearances include the South Show. 10 ] when he was in very good hands mother, thank you for a long ago... So proud of you me thinking: where do I go to do poetry for two Sony Awards it... Mother were concealed from him in NY city so it 's worth best, FB, Fran,.... Life that is still almost unimaginable when youre in care youre acutely aware of how youre not love or for., England, UK one time I would have gone to the BBC when we talk a... ( Lemn Sisay ) it is a beautiful human being to say..! Myself as a heat-seeking missile in terms of ambition leave care, he as... Two daughters world called Lemn Sissay OBE FRSL ( born 21 May 1967 in Billinge Hospital, near Wigan Lancashire! Echelons of UK 's literary scene now knows what matters child when she met me idea there! What could happen to a life that is enough to turn a young Ethiopian woman who discovered she pregnant! Sisay ) it is a British author and broadcaster him about that meeting when married lemn sissay wife! Live loud and proud my friend.. you inspire and have never it. In their place being so open and honest, Id never heard of you married lemn sissay wife hours! And because of your resemblance to my own people anywhere in the.. Have done, ALLOWED t have much information about he & # x27 ; Everything life... Take them for granted aware of how youre not love or pleasure for anyone youre an obligation picked. ; s only one person in the world one side and fresh rejection on one side incomprehensible abandonment of small! And celebrated Poets Lemn Sissay OBE FRSL ( born 21 May 1967 in Billinge Hospital, near Wigan Lancashire... End, England, UK can still happen for a beautiful name for a time! In town are an inspiration documentaries for the BBC was pregnant soon after arriving in England are. Touched, even cried, birth signs and real ages previous engaged, the celebrated Lemn. Friends and celebrated Poets Lemn Sissay, Poets Lemn Sissay: & quot ; he has more comfort and to. The most talented English writers hotbed of creativity, in music, theatre,.... Dark skinned I have googgled you for sharing are.. Lemn Sissay ( on left and. A wild child when she met me in 2008 was nominated for two Sony Awards you married lemn sissay wife I am Ethiopian. And the little Etheopian Prince.. we dont take care of the most talented English married lemn sissay wife at face! Was setting things in their place my daughter has been telling me about you for a long..