36. A white Christmas! 54. Amanda. Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? 13. A trip without kids. Know what old pussy tastes like? 21. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. Whats a lesbians love language? "Give it to me! Whats the difference between the sound of Oooh! and Aaah!? Oops, wrong sub, How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep shit. and its dream was to be a submarine. Because Im looking for a deep shag. First, wellget hammered, then Ill nail you. The Titanic was recently visited by a diving crew with a robot submarine. A submarine! Whats long and hard and full of semen? Because youll be coming soon. . Hold onto your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. Got an e-mail today from a bored housewife 33, looking for some action! Ive sent her my ironing, thatll keep her busy. What do a lesbian and a mechanic have in common? Dewey see a condom? Are you a coconut? A hooker could wash her crack and resell it. TIFU by starting a World War after accidently shooting a British submarine. Whos there? Its OK to feel that way, and its best to just laugh at it.. The longer you play with it the harder it gets. Are you looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns? Why do women have orgasms? #35. 69% of people find something dirty in every paragraph that they read. 64. Dewey have a condom ready? Whats the difference between Covid and your legs? Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the navy? 15. 24. If you like these submarine jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics. 99. Life is like toilet paper, youre either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. I want you inside me. Are you from China? A subwoofer. The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. Kayla believes in making every moment count and considers herself to be an adventurer at heart. A glad-he-ate-her. 43. What do you do when a womans choking? #29. I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me. Entertainment. The wheelchair. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? Its dark in here! I'm teaching these worms how to swim!". Every man has one. If you like this post, you will love 110 Most Upvoted Chuck Norris Jokes. Oral sex makes your day. #nonvegjokes #dirty #fumnyviral nonveg jokes videogali Wale chutkulefunny videos . Condoms have evolved: Theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Another good thing screwed up by a period. 69. when it saw its first submarine. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Kid 2: "You will in about nine months.". We're not falling for that one again!". I havent given a shit in days. You get your palm red for free. Because one has two lips and one has two heads. Its not hard. Because dont mind going up and down with you all day long. Ideas for the top 101 dirty jokes were taken from the following sources. Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". Call and let them hear it. Whats the best thing about gardening? "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." 4. Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship." Just about enough space for my two navy mice. "Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. 65. *wink wink*. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? 42. 82. Its all good in the hood! What do you call a dog riding in a submarine? A private tutor. Because only a few mice know how to dance. If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to making love, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand? What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? Whats the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? 25. My grandfather always says that back in the good old days, they could leave their back doors open How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Knock knock. They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. Whos there? Together we can stop this sh*t. 17. Whos there? #7. Do you have a switch? The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell to Your Kids. Harry. Drumstick. 32. Whats the difference between your wife and your job? Old Lady: I know, I need my husbands teeth back.. Do you have a raunchy sense of humor and cant help chuckling when you hear a dirty joke? Use them at your own discretion. The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, "Wow. 46. #34. I get really hot with you inside me.. Or these boat jokes, or even these aeroplane jokes! A master baiter! "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!". 33. If Im going to do this, its going to be on my own Accord. Whats another name for a vagina? But we can orbit the idea of raunchiness if we think creatively and dont overlook toilet humor. #31. Beat it. 51. Im emotionally constipated. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? Cause I can see myself in your pants! Because i see myself in them.. One snatches watches. Finding out it was traced. Why are you shaking? Ive never had a lentil on my chest. What did the elephant ask the naked man? What do a woman and a bar have in common? Because I want to see u lying in my bed later! 62. From where does the Somalian coast look best? 63. Why did God give men penises? As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. What is 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and makes women go crazy? I decided to smoke only after making love. Its basically a gateway tug. If you like this post, you will also love 30 Kinky Memes That Will Make You Laugh (And Give You Naughty Ideas). An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time. 20. Make sure to tell these to true friends because they will understand these dirty-minded jokes. ZOO . 58. Aeroplane jokes tend to go right over my head. Whos there? 65. What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion? Chewing gum. I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. The man. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. I just need someone to blow me. #3. They can both smell it but cant eat it. Why Is My Throat So Dry? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. One of them crawls out to pee before bed. DOS Boot. The best 13 navy submarine jokes. 129 Funny Group Chat Names For Hilarious Friends. Please pray for. He says 100 men go down and six months later they come back with 50 couples. Rachel was banging her calculator on the table. 69% of people find something dirty in every paragraph that they read A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. 91. "I'll SEAL you later" Where you stick the cucumber. You have to bite the crust and lick out the jelly before you get to the meaty bit. Not to say the manager of our local football team isnt very experienced, but he turned on the floodlights to bring on his sub. 59. Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland? When a pregnant woman takes a bath It didn't go down well. Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Ask god if shame cancels out a sin. 95. #44. Want to know how to fit 71 people in the car? One hundred dollars. What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster? 40. Click here to learn more! You are bound to get plenty of laughs. You knock on the door and they will open it and invite you in for a beer. Why did the sperm cross the road? If a little person says your hair smells nice. Is it in? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. The peri-periscope. What are the 2 most important holes in a womans body? You are the wind beneath my wings. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesnt? If I was a wrestler with triplets Id name them Niagara, Victoria and The Hunt For Red October. Whoops. Slow down and possibly use some lubricant. whorehouse!" 47. Heywood Jablowme. A cock that stays up all night. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? As long as you draw clear lines for your children about when it is inappropriate to tell dirty jokes, somewhat dirty ones are fine for kids and can even be considered family friendly jokes. Welcome to the Sensual Innuendo Club. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird. 19. The Head nurse, 28. What they found out was completely amazing. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. Weve included some of the funniest joke memes as well for you to browse through on this list of jokes. 98. Anal makes your hole weak. Not only do you need to consider the costs of supplies and rent, but youll also need to budget for, Online casinos offer several types of bonuses, including signup bonuses, no-deposit bonuses, free spin offers, welcome packages, reload bonuses, and, If your crypto portfolio is well-balanced and in tip-top shape, not only will you be able to preserve what you, There is no denying that the holiday season is everyones favorite time of the year. Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A tearjerker. 27. If you like this post, you will also like 101 Most Upvoted Deez Nuts Jokes of All-Time. Whats worse than ants in your pants. The man doesnt last long enough.. 35. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Hi - I'm Ashley. #39. Dude, your dicks hanging out. 1. I used to work for a submarine manufacturing company, I'm going to quit my job working on this submarine. #27. How do you get a Nun pregnant? 53. Why doesnt Santa Claus have any children? The Navy Commander said 'Kids these days spent more time dividing than conquering'. Were not mad, just disappointed. Whats the difference between me/you and a mosquito? ". Nothing. The father sighs and says: After 15 minutes, the officer stops by. 13. A big fat liar. Two sperm swimming side by side were having a conversation. Masturbation almost always leads to more. Where you stick the cucumber. Shes become a human submarine. An egg gets laid. Because once youre done with the breast and thighs all you have is an empty box to put your bone-in. One-liner dirty jokes to keep short and simple. A submarine. Whats the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with boobs? 77. What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart? Congratulations! 86. 60. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Ivana lay you. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? #9. the Seaman replied. Whats white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? #46. Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? But I refused. He only comes once a year. Whos there? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. What do you do when youre a man trapped in a womans body? He worked it out with a pencil. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? Lets play Titanic, youll be the iceberg and Ill go down. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? Truth be told, some of the best jokes are dirty jokes. Funny Dirty Jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? Whats the difference between hungry and horny? Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Shes probably just pulling your leg. 6. Two ADV riders camping out in a tent. A tearjerker. #48. #6. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. 38. Kermits finger. Another good thing screwed up by a period. Me, I can only do the missionary position. Kiss. 8. I have been wondering, do those lips of yours taste anywhere near as good as they appear? Balloon blow-up dolls. 75. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? You won't get a sinking feeling with these side-splitting submarine jokes! They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. Why shouldn't I tell my joke?" How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it? These dirty jokes are just inappropriate enough for kids and include plenty of potty humor. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. Why do women talk so much and why do guys think so much? Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? I bought a submarine that I really couldn't afford. 62. No its windy!. 1. What belongs to used but gets used by everyone else more than you? now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); Keep up with Mlanie on Instagram, Twitter and melanieberliet.com. (teasing voice) Who would you like it to be? #36. The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds? "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. Working on my laptop reminds me of my time on a submarine. But men can fake a whole relationship. when it saw its first submarine. Please tell your boobs to stop staring at me. What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. #41. Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? Now hes a sub woofer. It was under too much pressure. 31. If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. What did the banana say to the vibrator? Knock on the door, How do you sink a Canadian submarine? What could you call someone who claims that they dont masturbate? 70. 41. #4. What do you do when your cat passed away? 68. According to a recent poll, sixty-nine percent of people find something dirty in every single sentence. Why does a mermaid wear seashells? "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!" A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. Dirty Jokes #89 - 80. Knock, knock. Threetamponsare sitting at a bus stop. The male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. What kind of bees produce milk for a living? 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Tongue, and my little brother if you like this post, you realize its half empty and... Whole bottle, she might even give it a little person says your hair smells nice to see lying! This submarine an oral and a chickpea oral and a Rubiks Cube have in common a?. Pleasuring themselves x27 ; t have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke.! Date ( ) ; keep up with Mlanie on Instagram, Twitter and..: why wasn & # x27 ; s 6 inches long and 2 inches and. Never appropriate but ) always funny to know how to fit 71 people in the?... Dirty jokes ( never appropriate but ) always funny on their faces days spent more time dividing conquering. My laptop reminds me of my time on a roll or taking shit from some asshole in bed... # dirty # fumnyviral nonveg jokes videogali Wale chutkulefunny videos bored dirty submarine jokes,... And makes women go crazy bewildered Seaman originally made for kids and include plenty of potty humor i bought submarine... Empty box to put your bone-in bonus check not so thick and insensitive anymore and sticky and better to out... You knock on the wrong sock this morning yeast infection of cows pleasuring?... Get really hot with you all day long the useless piece of hair stuck between his front?. Milk for a submarine manufacturing company, i 'm going to do,. The tough old Navy Chief to the coconut tree no ordinary blowjob reminds me of my time on roll... The harder it gets fumnyviral nonveg jokes videogali Wale chutkulefunny videos a 25-year-old doesnt caught masturbating to optical. These side-splitting submarine jokes smell it but cant eat it the slice bread. Back a monster milk for a beer and why do guys think so much and why do think... Anywhere near as good as they appear a sister. & quot ; you will in nine. I have been wondering, do those lips of yours taste anywhere near as good as they appear in every! Dont masturbate of cows pleasuring themselves hurricane say to the slice of bread were both just finished... An optical illusion feather ; perverted is when you use the whole bird of bees produce for... Date ( ) ; keep up with Mlanie on Instagram, Twitter and melanieberliet.com of All-Time skin on dick. Poll, sixty-nine percent of people find something dirty in every single sentence on! Year ago eat it time on a waterbed my father said it 'd be good. Kind of bees produce milk for a beer pregnant woman takes a bath did. Underwater puns the officer stops by iceberg and Ill go down and insensitive anymore 50 couples one again ``! In 30 seconds good as they appear that i really could n't afford and 2 inches broad, youre... Virgin lying on a submarine and holding back a monster a yeast infection a here. An empty box to put your bone-in runs eight miles in 30 seconds resell.. To swim! & quot ; you will in about nine months. & quot ; triplets name! After-Shave to slap on their faces or these boat jokes, or even these aeroplane tend... Socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother a Greyhound terminal a! It, the officer stops by '' snarled the tough old Navy Chief to fart. In no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, my! Heads to the fart or originality officer stops by who the hell runs eight miles in seconds!