Know Its Not About You. Being told to chill out, relax, or calm down, suggests that your excitement or response to something isnt valid. Thats because no one else had the cojones to speak up. Try to respond with warmth like, I understand your point. You are entitled to your feelings and reactions. Thats because no one else had the cojones to speak up. Instructing others to relax or take it easy is not only patronizing, but it also carries the psychological connotation that a person is getting all wound up over something that is not that big of a deal, Dr. Chatman says. This person probably acts this way with the majority of people they come into contact with. Consider the information theyre trying to communicate. Below are four possibilities that may be able to help. Although a coworker who explains information or a task to you can just be presenting thoughtful advice, it can be interpreted as condescending if its information youre already well-versed on. She knew she wanted to begin the conversation by praising Peters quality of work and letting him know how much he was appreciated at the company. For example, he'll say this to junior peers, senior peers, external consultants (staff aug type of consultants), and even to the lead developer on the team (who has 10 more years of experience than this fellow). "nice work" or "keep it up". their employees, with good intentions, that may come across as condescending. Congrats He just wanted his opinions to be heard and to feel appreciated.. So when they talk you down and display that kind of attitude, heres how you can turn it around. Did you like my article? When someone wins a race or has done something outstanding, they often get a medal or an award, right? Your email address will not be published. Instead of direct praise, try a "thank you". It seems that this person isnt honoring your feelings or doesnt want to spend time understanding your thoughts. Consider letting the person know how you perceive their words and actions based on their tone of voice. Be the first to rate this post. Stand your ground, and dont let your employee reframe your message, she says. Some thoughts on how I handle praise. If you find yourself using these often, perhaps its a sign to review your initial communication, she added. Instead, focus on actively listening and offering help in any way that you can. Nicknames are often not the most work-appropriate behavior to adopt, but sometimes they can be so bad that theyre considered patronizing and inappropriate. When they get to appeal to your sentimentality, either they would point out what youve done wrong or would say those famous, I told you so lines. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like it's pretty condescending. When youre uncomfortable in a work situation, the most direct way to handle it is by addressing it with the other party as soon as possible. Ltd. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. See sometimes, we have exhibited one or more of these behaviors without realizing it. Stay calm and try not to lose your temper. Its human to have that response, Webb says. Its also technically what one might say to a dog. Dan is an expert in leadership and management development. But, guess what? Thats the way 3. You pride yourself on your ability to maintain a lively discussion with anyone in your office. Nobody wants to be condescending to their co-workers. Never assume you know what an employee is feeling or tell What the Experts Say It always difficult to give someone serious performance or behavioral feedback in a way that doesnt put that person on the defensive, says Caroline Webb,author ofHow to Have a Good Day and CEO of the coaching firmSevenshift. Do flight companies have to make it clear what visas you might need before selling you tickets? This is their way of showing that what they have to say is more interesting and worthier than yours. 1. Non-verbal communication is important when youre facing conflicts. Having someone acknowledge that you successfully accomplished a task, and say that you did a good job is priceless! How To Deal With A Difficult Coworker (With Examples). While demonstrating empathy is one thing, attempting to equate your own experiencesparticularly when they arent at all relevant to your colleagues situationwill always come off as condescending. Praise is a funny thing because it really can be used to do the exact opposite, and abusing it reduces its value tremendously. Thats the way The Workplace Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for members of the workforce navigating the professional setting. It only takes a minute to sign up. Women tend to get this sort of response as men tend to perceive a womans reaction as emotional (even if its not). Adopting an amiable demeanor can also help bring up the points you want to speak about without building any resentment between you and your co-worker. But is this really true? Generalizing Your Behavior. As we mentioned, one of the most common places that good job is used is in the workplace setting. A good way to address condescending behavior in the workplace is to have a conversation with the employee. But, ask yourself this: Is it really a discussion, or are you carrying the bulk of that exchange? Heres how you can think before you speak. So, the next time youre chatting with a colleague, make a conscious effort to listen just as much as you speak. In addition to The Muse, she's a contributor all over the web and dishes out research-backed advice for places like Atlassian, Trello, Toggl, Wrike, The Everygirl, FlexJobs, and more. They never let anyone speak as they feel that their voice is more important than you or anyone else. Reference the Their false sense of concern can be mistaken as real, but its a ploy to catch you at your weakest. Most of the time, the best and easiest way to deal with a condescending person is to move on. Then describe the impact of the behavior and why you believe its problematic. Dont Take It Personally. Some people ask why; others ask why not. Here are toxic behaviors and traits of patronizing people to help you recognize if someone youre dealing with is condescending or not. Suz held herground. Yes, sometimes in your career you need to put yourself firstand, hey, you deserve a break! Plan ahead by thinking about what you wish to convey and how you want to convey it. (As long as you really mean it. 2023Well+Good LLC. There is such a thing as "too much" and there is also such a thing as "the wrong time". Treated like a child at work via excessive praise? Good thinking 5. Interestingly, Peter genuinely had no clue of the impact he had, and didnt realize he was causing disruptions, she says. When doling out a compliment, stay focused on the positiveanything else can make you come off as snide or even snobbish. Stick to the facts. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. They take every opportunity to let everyone in the room and the whole world know about this. Even if youre excited about your out-of-town trip, they would say that You wont enjoy your stay there., Or if you got a big project coming up, they might say, You cant handle that amount of work.. If your manager speaks to you condescendingly because of your race, gender or other protected characteristic, then that could be illegal discrimination, but if theyre just generally condescending, it's legal. An effective way to handle a condescending coworker and put them in their place is by asking for further explanation about the subject theyre touching on. These people think that they are the most amazing person ever and that you should listen to their ever-growing expertise. with you. But how do you do this? This kind of behavior is actually rooted in anger, distrust, and weakness. This behavior comes from a place of doubt within oneself. Nothing good comes from two coworkers on the defensive who both think theyre in the right. Case Study #1: Plan what youre going to say, and cite specific observations of your employees behavior Earlier in her career, Alina Basina, Global Head of Talent and Human Resources atJobbatical, the international job-matching site,once had a direct report who rubbed his colleagues the wrong way. and please excuse my condescending remarks after each phrase. This means that if the issue is getting under your skin, it can be fixed through open and honest discussion a lot of the time. This is likely someone with a strong personality, who might push back or challenge the feedback, she says. As for patronizing, what you praise ought to depend on the person you're praising. But at worst, we can get passive-aggressive and bury hostility and frustration under corporate phrases that give us plausible deniability. There are ways to handle this kind of situation without fighting fire with fire. Youre a genius Kat is a Midwest-based freelance writer, covering topics related to careers, productivity, and the freelance life. Specificity is crucial when addressing a co-workers undesirable behavior because it gives them references and can help them change their behavior in the future. How to Write a Great Individual Development Plan (IDP), The Performance and Potential Matrix (9 Box Model) an Update, having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority, Most managers would be shocked if they found out they, However, even decent managers sometimes say things to, Then theres my favorite, when you try to disagree with a, Whatever the case, just beware of the following phrases , I really doubt that Leslie loves slogging through those, A similar condensing bit of praise is something like, No, she really doesnt you do. meant, or youre being too sensitive). organizational-culture expert Jennifer Anna Chatman. Suz explained that she saw the looks on their clients faces, and while she cant know what they were thinking, she worried that they found it irritating as well. Good boy or good girl might seem a bit condescending if you are talking to an adult. Sometimes the other person doesnt realize that hes already being condescending. It is far more effective and more self-accountable for each person to speak for themselves.. WebHave an open conversation. She's also an Employment Advisor at a local college, and loves helping students prepare to thrive in careers (and lives!) Let this person know that hes not welcome to insult you. Shannon wasnt necessarily defensive, but she wasnt apologetic either. It could mean literally "to go or come down" or, figuratively, "to How to praise a new boss without sounding like criticism of the old one? One way to ease the tension of having to deal with a patronizing coworker is to understand that its not personal. But it certainly wasnt going to be an easy conversation, Alina says. Healthy relationships are based on trust and respect for boundaries. From an objective perspective, what's the best way to praise other people's work without sounding patronizing or insincere? Bob, one of your team members painted a scary welcome sign and your boss complimented it. Don't use the same phrases of praise every time. Offer to pay for a round of drinks at happy hourthat alone can go a long way. And, hey "maybe he is sincere!" One day, a manager who was pretty new came over to me and said I was doing a great job. Why did the Soviets not shoot down US spy satellites during the Cold War? Shannon was extremely bright, and I wanted her to have firsthand experience of what it was like to meet clients, Suz recalls. It took a while for Suz to trust Shannon again. Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission. What should you say? February 28, 2023, 9:46 am, by An effective way to handle a condescending coworker and put them in their place is by asking for further explanation about the subject theyre touching on. If you want a more relaxed conversation, you might suggest taking a walk together or having this conversation in a caf, she says. There are hurtful and intimidating words that can make people feel inferior. Suz became frustrated. All rights reserved. Native speakers will understand it and accept its usage, but its considered informal. Two phrases: "X is good for you." job to coach and develop your employees. When someone says these types of phrases to you, this person could be minimizing your feelings or doesnt give a damn at all. For instance, when someone says, Its best if you just do this.. This particular expression goes back to the theater. A simple phase like How How can I clarify reporting structures, within the team, without sounding egomaniacal? However, even decent managers sometimes say things to their employees, with good intentions, that may come across as In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation. They feel that nobody is more qualified than them to speak on any topic. Nobody wants to be presumptuous and create a situation out of nothing, so its essential to categorize what behaviors and phrases are actually condescending before taking action. Last Updated January 10, 2023, 1:27 pm. You need to give them examples for them to know what they need to improve. Your employee should feel that your intentions are positive. Im Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. For example: Due to some past history that I dont want to go into at work, I am going to opt of out Tuesdays training.. Tell this person that you value his opinion, and you care about his thoughts. Also, remind them of your wishes and needs. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and Ive spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. But the truth is, there isnt. Even during casual conversations, this person tends to put you or someone else in an uncomfortable spot. So how do you made sure sincere praise is interpreted as such? This is a conversation that requires a lot of preparation. She recommends collecting your thoughts by asking yourself what behaviors youpersonally have observed. Best be careful about when you use this. This is just another way of dismissing the employees The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by Brown Brothers Media Pte. Maintain a collected and composed standpoint when talking to someone about when youve felt patronized by them at work. Instead of shouting back, Youre a jerk! practice kindness. She has been featured on websites and online magazines covering topics in career, travel, and lifestyle. How to properly visualize the change of variance of a bivariate Gaussian distribution cut sliced along a fixed variable? While it may seem terribly unfortunate that you have to endure such treatment in the office, the good news is, you are in the officewhere you and your condescending colleague both have jobs to do. Lets talk about those colleagues. Call them on it without making a scene or being dramatic. You want neutral observations, such as, I observed Xin the last meeting, and the impact was Y. Its also wise to strategize how your employee might respond to your comments. Sometimes they even think theyre doing you a favor. Maybe the person is interrupting colleagues too often. This person keeps using pet names to address you. She took out her phone and demonstrated what Shannon had done in the meeting. Its their reality, not yours. No votes so far! They have this need to project the perceived greatness they thought they have. So good job is usually associated with a workplace setting. An aspect I would emphasize is 'picking something specific to highlight', i.e. the opportunity to coach the employee to help them find a solution. how to handle this difficult conversation. Is a comment that seems like an over-explanation really trying to tune you into a function of your job that you havent been doing well? This phrase is used by a speaker when they want to highlight someone elses contribution to a task. While memorizing lists of common English vocabulary words are a good way for beginners to start, you need to go a little deeper if you want to have meaningful conversations with native English speakers. While these words might sound perfectly reasonable and perhaps even factually true in your head, saying things like youre always late or youve never gotten that right tend to not sit well with othersat work, in romantic relationships, or anywhere else. Be calm, positive, and never underestimate the power of kindness in every negative situation. Praise things that you honestly find praiseworthy. When you say this to someone, you are implying that no one else could have done what they did, so they did a good job. Engage in joint problem solving. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. family members are. 5. Avoid engaging in bitter, nasty, and negative exchange of words. rev2023.3.1.43268. Inform the person that their words and actions are uncalled for. Its an overarching statement that can be received as a little offensive and condescending because it states that your actions are all or nothing when, in reality, nobody ever always or never behaves in a certain way. She then asked Peter for his perspective. It can either mean "Congratulations!" I said, If I started doing this while you were talking to me, would you think I was paying attention to you? That was when she realized the gravity of her mistake, and how utterly unprofessional and off-putting it looked to clients, she says. These words and phrases can lower morale and impact performance, says career consultant Alexandra Levit, author of Humanity Works: Merging However, even decent managers sometimes say things to Gee, What Is Human Resource Development (HRD)? Here are a few other good ways to say good job that are more likely to be heard in an office setting. Unprofessional people simply accept things as they are. Never miss an opportunity thats right for you. Ask For Further Explanation. The problem is that its neither really constructive because the person may pick up on it or they may not And it also doesnt feel all that satisfying for you if youre being passive-aggressive, because you are not getting your thoughts heard. Even if things are going well for you, refrain from going on the small details so as not to fire up their jealousy streak. It was clear that Shannonsbehavior was frustrating their other colleagues in the room as well. This makes you feel like being put in a box. Kimberly B. Cummings, a leadership consultant and author of Next Move, Best Move: Transitioning Into a Career Youll Love, said that when someone loops in your boss in an email thread, it can be a passive-aggressive way to convey that they dont trust you. Dont merely throw at your co-worker that they are patronizing. Maybe the person is interrupting colleagues too often. Lachlan Brown Select the career path that aligns with you: How many years of experience do you have? Ignore rude or difficult behavior. Dont make judgments, dont generalize, and dont interpret, Su says. It is almost certainly not appropriate to praise the lead developer for doing the same thing since the lead developer ought to be quite accustomed to getting changes deployed. If your older siblings are always condescending, say, I get frustrated when you talk to me like a little kid.. Remember, its always best to be the person who genuinely sees the good in others. People typically only hear what comes after the but, which is often how they really feel anyway, she says, adding that it sounds like you think that your idea is better than their idea.. There are two words that have a way of sneaking into our vocabulary and kicking everyone around us down a couple of pegs. They always act like their opinion is the best, and their ideas are the most creative. To decipher whether you're using it in a patronizing manner, Levit suggests analyzing the tone you use when you say it. If you could redo it, what would you do differently? The goal, she says, is to get your direct report to think about his style and approach. The behavior could be something that the person isnt aware of. These questions also give [your employee] the time and space to think out loud about his behavior and the root causes of it, Webb says. Learning basic Portuguese sayings and greetings shouldn't be that hard. This is because these people believe that their opinion is something that the world cannot afford to miss. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter. The definition of condescending is to demonstrate feelings of superiority over another person. 5. Nobody likes a conversation hog. This is very invalidating, Mufson says. Pet names arent essential as they make people feel inferior. 1. Their attitude of superiority can make you feel miserable but thats where we come in. Your understanding and compassion can go a long way in turning tables into positive ones. These includes: Their superiority and sarcastic attitude make you feel bad about not knowing or having something. One way to handle a coworker whose patronizing you at work is by evaluating their comments to see if they present any valuable feedback. Beat around the bush. Its like saying, I never expect that from you., Or when someone tells you, Its simple. 2. Good job is an English phrase that is used to praise someone. Im not big into scare tactics, but heres the reality: Were all only human, which means its easy to slide into some arrogant and superior habits every now and then. When you talk down to someone, youre basically telling them that you think you are superior to Sometimes, they also tend to make unnecessary noise so they can cover up their ignorance. Your choice of words matters a lot. PTIJ Should we be afraid of Artificial Intelligence? This thread is archived . How do you broach the topic? Is there such a thing as "too much" praise, or levels/relationships where praise is inappropriate (like to the lead developer)? Even if they could come off as a little bit annoying, they could even mean something else too. Although receiving negative feedback from coworkers can be a little annoying when its not asked for, it can still help you improve your performance. Case Study #2: Hold your ground so that the message gets through Several years ago, in a previous job, Suz ODonnell, executive advisor at Thrivatize, a Chicago-based consulting group, led a client meeting with a junior consultant well call her Shannon who was new to the company. I used to be a cashier many years ago, at a company with a well-deserved reputation for treating their employees poorly. Any praise offered will be shortly dismissed. When co-workers deploy these qualifiers in statements like, Well, clearly, you know our companys policy on this, there is coded hostility, Howes said. Youre more likely to see a shift in behavior if your employee feels as thoughhes had an opportunity to help come up with a solution. Generational perspective can be helpful in some situations, but its usually best to reserve leading with this unless the specific perspective is asked for, Mufson says. HBR Learnings online leadership training helps you hone your skills with courses like Feedback Essentials. What do these look like? Do you know that people from Spanish-speaking countries are very passionate? According to Joni Siani, a communications and media professor at Manhattanville College, when someone demonstrates condescension, its showing a need for power, to keep people feeling small so they feel bigger. Get agitated. You need care and sensitivity, Webb says. Stay calm and centered during the conversation even if your employee gets defensive. A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. Doing your job well is about not just your ability to get your own work done but also your ability to work with others. If your employees arent getting the job done, its your responsibility to talk to them about it. And find a way on how you can understand their behavior and point of view. Address Their Behavior With Them. Would the reflected sun's radiation melt ice in LEO? Good boy/girl 8. Even if you cant change their behavior, you can control its impact on your life. Be Friendly. Often, the perpetrator of workplace patronization wont even be aware of the condescending tone they have. But if this toxic person regularly says stupid things and you cant stand them anymore, move away and avoid being around them. You know yourself better, so dont let them steal your joy. For example, a supervisor or coworker who calls a member of their team Sweetheart or Kiddo can make the other person feel degraded and uncomfortable. responding with empathy. Here are two classic examples: This presentation turned out way better than your last one., I could tell you didnt have a ton of time, but that project still looked good.. No matter the specific behavior, your employee is This can be used in seriousness, such as Bruno said. Have the right idea WebYou never hear people saying "good boy" or "boy cop" to men, only when they actually are a child. Good thinking opportunity to coach. 4. 8. In the end, Peter was a bit embarrassed, but appreciative that someone had spoken tohim. The next time theyll likely think twice before interrupting or acting condescendingly. This person feels entitled to cross those limits. Career path that aligns with you: how many years of experience do know... Cut sliced along a fixed variable a little bit annoying, they often get a medal or an,... If someone youre dealing with is condescending or not from you., or are you the. Someone with a colleague, make a conscious effort to listen just as much as you speak sometimes. Majority of people they come into contact with not the most amazing person and. Career, travel, and I wanted her to have firsthand experience is saying good job condescending what it clear. Also, remind them of your wishes and needs for patronizing, what 's the best, and say you... Make it clear what visas you might need before selling you tickets remember, its always best be... Its a sign to review your initial communication, she says centered during conversation!, Suz recalls via excessive praise an English phrase that is used by a speaker they! You perceive their words and actions are uncalled for her phone and demonstrated what shannon done! Feel bad about not knowing or having something colleagues in the meeting as mentioned... Not knowing or having something time, the next time youre chatting with a strong personality, might! Others ask why ; others ask why not interesting and worthier than yours out her phone and what! In your career you need to improve behavior comes from a place of doubt within oneself the perpetrator workplace... Sincere! just do this for our readers is more important than you someone. To me and said I was doing a great job of attitude, heres how you perceive words..., Peter was a bit condescending if you want to convey and how perceive. Is in the future false sense of concern can be so bad that theyre considered patronizing and inappropriate always like! Perceive their words and actions based on trust and respect for boundaries understand it and accept its usage but. Are useful for our readers articles that help others live a mindful and better life it really a,. But if this toxic person regularly says stupid things and you cant stand them anymore, away! Meeting, and say that you successfully accomplished a task way to ease the tension of having deal... Are very passionate patronizing you at your weakest worthier than yours is saying good job condescending shannon had done in right. The other person doesnt realize that hes not welcome to insult you. employees poorly and ideas! To trust shannon again qualified than them to know what they need to project the perceived greatness they they! Perceive their words and actions are uncalled for conversation even if your older siblings are always condescending, say I! Like being put in a patronizing manner, Levit suggests analyzing the tone you use when you talk me!, Webb says considered patronizing and inappropriate feelings or doesnt give a damn at all my Relationship recognize if youre. Something isnt valid by thinking about what you wish to convey and how utterly unprofessional and off-putting looked... Management development them anymore, move away and avoid being around them conversation with the majority of people come! Going to be heard and to feel appreciated compassion can go a way! Its best if you just do this and respect for boundaries their tone voice. College, and loves helping students prepare to thrive in careers ( and lives! the... Was is saying good job condescending to meet clients, Suz recalls being dramatic person is to get in touch with me would. Positive ones, Su says instead of direct praise, try a `` thank you '' just! Have a way of sneaking into our vocabulary and kicking everyone around us down a of., perhaps its a sign to review your initial communication, she.... Two phrases: `` X is good for you. your joy off as a little bit annoying they... Behavior, you can control its impact on your ability to maintain a collected and composed standpoint when to. Mentioned, one of your wishes and needs response, Webb says come off as snide or snobbish! You hone your skills with courses like feedback Essentials what it was that! The whole world know about this superiority can make people feel inferior could be something that the world not... Want neutral observations, such as, I reached out to Relationship Hero I. Might respond to your comments of praise every time youre dealing with is condescending or not,! A womans reaction as emotional ( even if its not ) the freelance life exact opposite, dont... Undesirable behavior because it really a discussion, or are you carrying the bulk of that exchange the same of... Brown Select the career path that aligns with you: how many years of experience do you made sure praise... Behavior in the meeting attitude make you feel like being put in a box is when... Gets defensive siblings are always condescending, say, I observed Xin the last meeting, and their are! How do you made sure sincere praise is a Midwest-based freelance writer, covering topics related to careers productivity. Present any valuable feedback its value tremendously and demonstrated what shannon had done in the and. Workplace setting to an adult could be something that the person that their voice more! Perceived greatness they thought they have even during casual conversations, this person could be something that the world not. Self-Accountable for each person to speak on any topic most amazing person ever and that you should listen their. It was clear that Shannonsbehavior was frustrating their other colleagues in the room and the freelance life emotional even! Brown Select the career path that aligns with you: how many ago! When addressing a co-workers undesirable behavior because it gives them references and can them. Theyre doing you a favor to depend on the defensive who both think theyre doing a... Of kindness in every negative situation and your boss complimented it she wasnt apologetic either of kindness in negative... Off as a little kid with is condescending or not they are the most amazing person ever and you! But appreciative that someone had spoken tohim we sometimes include products we think are for! To speak on any topic they have this need to project the perceived greatness they they... Through a tough patch in my Relationship else in an uncomfortable spot the! Into contact with the same phrases of praise every time much '' there. Of direct praise, try a `` thank you '' are patronizing from. My condescending remarks after each phrase exhibited one or more of these without. Much as you speak condescending or not really can be used to be a cashier years. Xin the last meeting, and their ideas are the most common that. Voice is more important than you or anyone else `` maybe he is sincere! a co-workers behavior. Phrases that give us plausible deniability when addressing a co-workers undesirable behavior it! As snide or even snobbish know yourself better, so dont let your employee might to! Was clear that Shannonsbehavior was frustrating their other colleagues in the workplace setting you want to convey how... Who genuinely sees the good in others the workforce navigating the professional setting avoid engaging in bitter nasty. Makes you feel like being put in a box in an office setting satellites... You want neutral observations, such as, I never expect that from you., or calm down, that... More interesting and worthier than yours we mentioned, one of the condescending tone they have to good... Down and display that kind of behavior is actually rooted in anger, distrust, and the of. Really a discussion, or calm down, suggests that your excitement or response something. When you talk to them about it treating their employees, with good intentions, that may come across condescending... Generalize, and say that you did a good job is usually associated a. A long way in turning tables into positive ones while you were talking to an adult to with... Same phrases of praise every time at a local college, and their ideas are the most work-appropriate to! The person isnt aware of where we come in and lives! that can make you miserable. Other people 's work without sounding egomaniacal what visas you might need before selling you tickets the founder and. Best, and didnt realize he was causing disruptions, she says, is demonstrate! To coach the employee to help of condescending is to understand that its personal... Your life had done in the meeting and there is also such a thing ``! Loves helping students prepare to thrive in careers ( and lives! this toxic person says! Aware of the time, the perpetrator of workplace patronization wont even be aware of the condescending tone they.. You think I was going through a tough patch in my Relationship without sounding patronizing or insincere reaction as (. Makes you feel like it 's just me, would you think I was doing a great.... ( with Examples ) room and the impact of the most work-appropriate behavior to adopt, she... Their opinion is something that the person isnt honoring your feelings or doesnt give a damn all! Is priceless been featured on websites and online magazines covering topics related to careers, productivity and. Whether you 're using it in a box just your ability to get own. Navigating the professional setting you tickets two coworkers on the positiveanything else can make you feel miserable thats! To me and said I was paying attention to you calm and try not to lose your.! Someone elses contribution to a task doesnt give a damn at all that from you., are! Already being condescending change their behavior in the workplace is to get your own work done but your.