But I wont be tethered either. In our first conversation after two months. Nothing bad happened. Of course he my have blocked me or not reply, but I feel I need to do this for my own peace of mind. Because NOBODY tells them off! Or I will leave my communication open and wait for his call or text? For three days I tried to get in touch, I left voicemails and texts nothing whiney, just hoping he was ok and to let me know when he is free to talk. My response was..- work harder, you hurt my feelings but I moved on and please leave my belongings at my door. He invited me out and we really clicked. And other social interaction. Saying kindly delete my number, hes started talking to his ex, then changed the reason to he has enough friends. So I pull out before its too late, and usually they dont pass my little test, my current girlfriend did and were together for 4 years now. This isnt the first tIm it has happened and it keeps getting harder each time, but I think I handle it better now. Let me remind you of the #1 ultimate truth about courtship when you actually meet Mr. He said yeah because she noticed that you are my page and it upset her. Well earlier this year things changed. To this day I still dont know what happened, but although he chose to dispose of me like I was nothing, I am grateful that I am not with a guy that doesnt value me, because life is too short to be wasted on time wasters. Im glad i found this article too! Men care about the things they care about and couldnt care less about the things they dont. To which he relied he will give me a shout later but that was last Tuesday and he hasnt called or texted. He was gone in a quick whatsapp msg I love you but I want to go it alone, dont want a relationship at the moment, not a dicky bird since, and I was the one taking things slowim still reelingNever heard of Ghosting until now. Oh my God I went through literally the same thing! Always told me how much he loved me. Combined with pulling away, hell probably use some other techniques of manipulation such as putting you down and gaslighting you. I would simply like a conversation with him to have some insight as to what happened and to have some closure! Mine is the same way. Although I knew at the end of ourr last date that I felt Id never see him again because of a couple of his responses and body language..but I guess I didnt want it to be true. I cant believe how bold I was to meet face to face with him by my bold idea of visiting him finding out why he stopped talking to me. He obviously changed his mind again about the relationship and was too coward to tell me. To check someones message in class means u r thinking about them. This is a good article, but shit is a lot easier said than done. Later on that afternoon he didnt reach out to me. He said he would make it up to me the next day. He would email me at work, Skype me 2-3 times a week and we would talk for hours. He may have told you differently; who knows, maybe he even thought he would continue the relationship once vacation was over. During the 3rd and 4th I tried to keep talking to him trying to figure out why he was so distant and what was going on. Its gonna be better if he said to my face were done than nothing at all. Please comment I need ADVISE here!!! :-(. Mine has blocked me from calls , texts maybe even emails, the feeling of anxiety is off the charts I feel like Im spinning down the drain to be discarded like I meant nothing to him Ugh, its awful- and in the midst of no communication with me , the couple therapy dr reaches out to him to confirm an apply, and he says he will be there next week for a session, I think I am having more anxiety over the fact that he wont show up?? He had stated that he needed me in his life stating I was such a positive impact and that he valued that and needed my friendship. I am grateful he showed me that I could love again, but now I think I have lost all trust in people,and feel that even though I had worked on my neediness issues during the break, and held the belief that all he wanted was to give me time to reflect on my behavior as well as his own feelings, but now Im afraid this experience has shown that my insecurities were somewhat founded. I mean, how do you go out of your way to get my number from someone else, flirt with me at work text me and call me beautiful and make plans to hang out and shit then just out of no where you stop talking, you dont even want a hug from me any more, and you quit your job on top of thay now i really wont be able to see you anymore. Even offering to go on holiday with you after only two days of chatting online!!! I also started moving but after a month I really missed him so I though I will give one more try and I emailed him just a simple saying sorry and that I love him. Usually he was the one who always write me first, I just waited for him Now Im thinking if Im going to casual write him Im confused. Now Im seeing someone else. He was trying to hide me from her, hence the sporadic communications, the sudden silence, all the sketchy behavior that like you I went crazy trying to decipher. Was because I am a single mother and he is a single father, too? I cant think of anything more offensive! He will come back soon. Even if it hurts. 4. and we talked everyday up until now. And the next day after that he texted me, he didnt say that it was over, but instead he said that I deserved someone better. What the hell is so damn important that you have to be joined to your phone? Even if hes scared she may find out, he could call me from a work phone or someone elses phone. Could it be a red flag? Social exchange and equity play a significant role in determining the progress of a relationship. and he always asked me to stop talking about it. And he still ghosted. he was taking me to date, kissing me, holding my hand in the street, talking about future and holidays. He wasnt for her. What I cant understand is he said whenever hes angry of sth or cant deal with it he comes to me so that we could talk and he would be ok again or find a solution for it and he really did so! I didnt look for him, nada. What we had was cute, but Im gonna need those DVDs back!. Its better to just tell someone youre not feeling it then just completely disappearing on them and leaving them wondering if you are going to call/if they were so horrible of a person/meant so little that they didnt even deserve the basic human decency of a response/communication. I confronted mine by showing up at his house and told him how I felt about his behavior. And then I will have to be strong to not become his victim again. I just really dont get it. He was through two marriages earlier which left him feeling damaged. My communication outside of texting is great with them. I still do, everytime I remember him, even after nearly a year. then I stop intiating contact, I stop asking him out, for sure I stop dating him. He is not a stable person and MAY never be. There is no God or supernatural force guiding this world. He never once even insinuated he wanted m to permanently leave him alone. When I tell a guy what I want or expect I prepare for the worse, and the worst case is he doesnt want the same thing, and you MUST move on. Emotions are brutal, but I know the only choice I have is to move on completely! However the last couple of days he has gone unusually quiet? Theres something wrong with these guys. Today I went into POF and he is COMPLETELY GONE, he took his profile off! Text him only once after he disappears. What changed? I would see him on facebook but not text me back and I got angry and blocked him. My general feel is that if a guy is not asking to see you/wanting to meet up, he s not that invested. 14. We chatted for a month, he would phone me and we would talk for hours non-stopit was going great! 10 years of texting and chatting can be dispelled after 10 seconds with a person if you just dont feel that personal connection face to face; and its really about more than just attraction, people have a way about them, and it might just make you uncomfortable, like someones energy is just not at all what you expected. I dont know what to do. He doesnt deserve your attention or time and you wont be giving them to him from this point on. So I ask I met this guy online on a website that advocates marriage. Me; Yeah sure Mr Fadeout. If youre busy or youre not into it or whatever, thats fine. Everything seemed perfect. However is the worst passive aggressor ever!!!! Thats why my recommendation is to hang out as friends and get addicted to each others company, become genuinely interested in each other, then if the attraction is strong you can talk more openly about pursuing something and be honest about whether either of you are going to keep serial dating. He does have to take a minute to eat, right, just send me a text, hello, everything is ok. Maybe something has actually happened to him? If he was, he d stick it out to the end. Maybe I was to clingy, am insecure, told him too much about me. You can be ball=less and disappear and at your convenience text someone, or not, telling them youve moved on. I disabled my profile on the dating website a month after the no-contact. My dream guy came to me and was eager to talk to me and I was very hesitant to talk to him because I have been single for two years and when he came in my life trying to really get to know me I couldnt let him down. i didnt ask for a cent to repay. Before he had to leave for work my new years eve, he showed me my Christmas gift and told me visiting him to pick up the gift would be his Christmas gift. Him straight up I wouldnt be sleeping with him or anything and he knew that. we finnaly only see each other 3 times in 10 months. So what would you recommend a girl does when a guy withdraws because she has been a bit needy. I do think that he didnt confront me cause he was playing the game, that he would keep me in his back pocket, while he is figuring things out. I didnt make eye contact, but from the corner of my eye I could see him trying to get my attention. I refuse to text him. Thanks! Its been a week and I keep replaying the whole date. Why does this happen?? 5 minutes passed then I said to him so youre not going tp mention the fact that you unfriended me without even let me know? =). I was young and naive, and bought the dress. I was also pretty angry too, as I felt like he le, Hey! I know he is dealing with a a lot but I told him I would support him and ride out with him through it all. Interesting. I was hurt about this and he could see that so he on occasion would stay the night just to make me happy even if it meant he wasnt getting any sleep. This is driving me crazy. His response was your welcome and thats the last I heard from him. Thank you. Went on holiday the week after on my own as needed the space . he makes you laugh. I now know based on his actions and looking back, he is emotionally unavailable. Ive given him space and Im warm and kind when he does text me, but its making me cry because I dont know if hes playing with my head or what. I guess I needed that at that time. Days? I do too but I havent met him yet. We agreed to be a friends with benefits type thing which I was way ok with. Yes, he spends the same amount of time with me as he always has. What do you guys think?? Wow! But he seemed so distant so I left it at that. And we didnt talk at all for the 6th month until the last week where I contacted him. After we were everything to each other, I too now feel like he has blocked me or changed his profile, he has just disappeared. A guy will disappear without letting you know because he isnt comfortable enough to tell you that he wants to break things off. Last Saturday he invited me round to his house and we spike about things . Im so hurt.. After some times, somethings changed. Its been three weeks now that I have heard nothing. So I guess I have to move on and get over it. At one point I was going to go home and shower and he told me to shower at his place and just put his sweats on. 5. We connected in early December. Man, what is going on with guys? After this incident things between us were never the same. Thanks. We flirt, reminisce, apologize for both our behaviors in the past. So we talked all day even when he was at work. What about us? What? But his too! Instead, he simply pulled away without an explanation so that he could walk back into your life the same way. And that is something that happens to a lot of women out there. So, I am not crying over him. Your honesty could save us a lot of time and energy so it would be great if you could just tell me whats going on. Now hes doing the disappearing act on me & he has so many of my DVDs, how do I ask for them back? Anyone?? I go with the flow at my age but desire exclusivity. Youre wrong. Tomorrow will be 7 days that we have not spoke to each other and I am not sure if were still together or not but I just do not feel that a 7 minute conversation should cause a person to not talk to you for this long. you just support and legitimate what I have done everytime a man I date disappears. But the banter carried on just before this theres nothing and changed there whatsoever but I am starting to feel a bit of a distancing situation occurring? If not, oh well. When we met it was like it was meant to be. cannot imagine how terrible you must have felt buying that ticket and him not replying to you. Well, there are several options and you can always choose which way you want to go. He asked me to marry him and I said yes. She is as sweet as they come, pretty, and very dependable. Especially when its someone you felt really good about :/ its confusing and well never know why it happened. I feel the reason he disappeared was because of my actions. If he doesnt come around, its his loss. Throughout the three dates he would give me all the validation a girl could want that he liked me. I signed off until then. After two month of no contact, I reached out to him again and we got back together and have been back together for nine months. Hes not my boyfriend. just like that. I want to text him so bad but I havent and I wont. And the guys that I date are meant to come from pretty good background (i.e. He broke up with me by a text message after three years of dating and stopped all communication with me. Then whenever i get over it and get my life back on track he comes back and manages to destroy it again. He said he had a great time. He wont be there anymore. i now know 100% that it was always HIS issue and never mine. Mommy told them they never do anything wrong and, as a result, they do not accept consequences for their actions; Yes, indeed I have been victim of this several times and it is extremely painful and frustrating because you open up to the guy and invest your time and energy just to be disposed of like and unwanted item. I said it was ok. We were talking everyday, he met my kids and we finally made it official. Real love takes time. I think you made a wise choice by not sleeping with this guy. You must be one of the lucky minority who can tread lightly and be able to disengage relatively easily. Any testimonials, financial numbers mentioned in emails or referenced on any of our web pages should not be considered exact, actual or as a promise of potential earnings all numbers are illustrative only, as Im sure you understand. Maybe hes goin through a family issue? I am no longer going to chase a guy, if he is interested he will chase me. Then suddenly he was gone without a trace. Now lets all breath a sigh of relief that those Houdinis did us the courtesy of finding something better! Meeting was even better, super comfortable and lots of natural chemistry with really good, quality, sincere convo. So 2 hrs later I went back into the dating site and noted he was not in my contacts list. Dont get me wrong but It was very special because we also had a very deep and emotional talk. There are so many other guys out there who will gladly give us their time those are the ones we need to value. Then the following week, when we would instant message and say hi at workstarted falling off. Im so sorry you found yourself in this situation. I texted that I sensed something was up. Omg, how did I fall so far so fast? Eventually my dumb self even went over and slept with him. And whats more- when you are willing to settle for less attention or investment than you want, everyone can smell it on you and you become less attractive. We just chatted and then swapped numbers. Anything else would be crumbs and not enough and its over. Im confused and dont know what to do I met this guy on POF, we texted every day from the end of sept and finally met right before Christmas We have since gone on dates and spent a lot of time together. Its up to YOU to protect YOU, though. ive met this guy in Tinder, we chatted for almost a month, all the time, about everything He said hed love to meet me in person, but I had to go abroad for work for about two weeks, so we planned a date right after that. It does suck and it will for a while but like this post said keep busy and time will heal. Then here we are at the ninth month mark. Its not all feminism; its society as a whole, and families, that have created this mess. Both said we loved each other and things were good. The sexual tension between us was unbearable, he would every chance he got touch me or snuggle up to me but we never got past that. Time for what??!! Hes that tall and dark and charismatic and funny and sweet guy that everyone loved. The third time was because he did something stupid while drunk about 9 months later. This is why we need to be as clear minded and clear vision as possible and make an effort to not get entangled in hopeless love affairs. I was really disappointed for awhile because I really liked him. Nope. the minute a guy thinks Im done with them and now into another guy, that guy makes his way back to me. Think Aloud is a destination where youll find stories about every step you, as a woman, take. Most men would rather walk over a bed of burning hot coals than tell a girl to her face theyre not into her. Why contact me after 3 weeks only to fade out???? From 8 am to 11 pm, every single night? 4 the top 5 Reasons why he Disappears (and how to avoid these traps) Reason Men Disappear #1 He's Great, But You Make Him Extraordinary you've been on a few dates with a guy and you're feeling good about things. I dont mind being removed in whatever social network account he has. Today is Tuesday, he has not called me or texted me. Oh, Lordy. get the scissors and cut him out of the picture you are trying to make for him. Hi im Fay. We did txt dailykisses and sweet nothings. He is cute but not the hottest but I have always been insecure and I dont even care about looks just the chemistry and how much I liked him and how much I cared for him and I felt It just hurts cause I really did fall for him and he looked me in my eyes and said how so in love he was. I feel so stupid sometimes cause deep down I want to hear from him. Yes I agree its a shame, Kim and Anna, Im looking for someone whos okay with regular communication and who wont keep disappearing from my life whenever he gets scared. I will walk and not look back UNLESS she puts an adequate amount into a mail/text/call in a calm, loving manner telling me she made a big mistake and apologising, offering to come and be with me and that were having a romantic relationship, not a demotion to friends who text small talk. When a guy disappears and then reappears, probably you've unintentionally bruised his ego so here he is trying to prove you wrong. Getty. Going down this path because something is better than nothing can actually make your heartbreak so much more intense, so bad that it causes some women depression. One day he was here and then the next day, he was gone. There are people out there who dont care about anyone except themselves, people who are cold and cruel, and this guy sounds like one of them. And the worst part is we are going back to work in the Spring and have to see one another and I cant help to wonder what hes rhinking. But the only thing to do now is to move on. I wanna give a guys perspective here but only my own or a certain type of male perspective from the time I was guilty of doing this. You should only feel sorry for them cause they really are sad and lonely inside and their theatrics is really a weak cry for Help!!!! Update: before he left he send message that he was sorry that we didnt had chance to spend more time before his vacation. being a bit insecure I would pick fights with him for no reason and tell him that I doubt his feeling for me.. Needless to say this caused a lot of problems. Or just leave it on time and move on. No need to be upset girl We made it work. No reply, next day, I would say something about our trip, No reply. Tina, I know exactly are you feel (as I have discussed in a previous post. And there's more. Not waiting for his messages. He dated a girl 30 years younger than him who hurt him real bad. ( I dont smoke or drink by choice) I do have a lot of friends who do and I told him that as long as drinking and smoking is not a habit and a life style. I agree with ms comment that it sad that a men would play disappearing act. I thought men outgrew this but even pushing 50, some are still at it. The two that went ghost on me reappeared months down the line full of apologies and wanting another chance. He was somewhat possessive however. I deleted him because I didnt even want to see his name pop up in my newsfeed lol. If, he decided that your night of drunkeness was too much for him he could have the courtesy to just say so. We only saw each other for about 2 months and it is when I asked him this question that things changed. I am guilty, I questioned that as well and yet still no answer. Hes afraid of your reaction to his rejection and cant muster the courage to tell you about it, hence he just disappears. But at the same time, the way I got lost in the area and was too egotistic to call him for directions was pretty hilarious. . I thought everything was going well and then he stopped texting and didnt seem like he wanted anything to do with me. I did get back on Facebook after a couple of weeks of silence and I noticed he removed me from his friends list. Why wasnt I good enough? Been dating a guy for 6 months. We both wanted to take it slow and get to know each other. It was written in a caring way. I never heard from him again! I know that you were hearing wedding bells I met his friends and went to two different birthday parties. I loved her madly so rather than whine, I disappeared for a day and half, she chased asked me if I was ok but her tone became angry very quickly so I asked her to talk calmly and we can talk on the phone but she said she didnt want to talk! (My lead because he cheated.) But the key here, is to remain strong and not contact him. Why? Because I just need some explanations about what happened, I just need him to clarify if we were okay or not. BUT heres the thing- it seems some women i meet dont understand that whereas you can gradually get to like her more, you can also learn to like her LESS over time. So Im in this situation right nowwe met went out a few times and like on the 4th or 5th date he was telling me he loved me. Everything is about the woman. I didnt have to fight or argue with him, there was no drama. I was freaking out so he gave me a small card before going to the washroom that said please relax. Then about two weeks later he deleted me on FB. I want everything he have to offer, idc what baggage he have, he shouldnt deal with it alone, I WANT TO BE THERE. He had not had a relationship in 2 years and didnt even date anyone but me since then. In his city in a couple The last time I saw him was a week ago- Tuesday 23rd, just before we both went home for Christmas. Insecure. He seemed down to earth and nice. Now, whenever I talk with someone, I just assume theyll disappear sooner or later and out of the blue and it has nothing to do with me at all. No!!!! 7 days no contact!! but you know I never contact him again until now. He analyzes everything. Like where is this going conversation? Its been 20 days since I cut off my communications to him. Exactly. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by A New Mode, Inc. I like this young lady and I will be distraught if she meets someone else! The more random strangers you go out with, the more you will get the ghosting deal. Im sure it felt real for him too, but if you let yourself make assumptions about it in real life (before meeting) you set yourself up to get hurt :(. Were you thinking about this quantitative list BEFORE dating this person? I have had guys ghost on me. Or even told you at all. Again just casual What is a certainty is that you can always keep being plugged into your own life, at all times. I later realised he wasnt interested at all and its very painful. We were having drinks and I was aware that he had 3 before we even met. Im so confused and hurt right now and have no clue what the hell happened. Because I assure you that your man is out there looking for you right now. He made me promise that we will always be best friends so I said yes of course we will. He always used to tell me that I am the entire package, etc. (just aint gonna work out girl) , I just wanted to update my situation contact has been made. I can relate to most of you. Etc. At this point it was a friendship. I also told him probably he thought I was one of the girls who said how high when he said Jump. The hurt is for the fact that he asked for a break, instead of ending it there and then. He just started to act like he didnt want to do, or plan anything, and wasnt spending enough time with me, so I addressed the issue to him, and first thing he said was I know Im not making you happy so I asked him what was wrong, he said he didnt know, I asked him if he needed some time and he reply yes. 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